Santa's Redneck cousin Earl Scroll Saw Pattern

Information: Personalized Christmas Ornament Orders.

I am trying to get Personalized Christmas Orders out as quickly as possible. I am several days behind. I will work today to get as many as possible completed. My goal is to work six hours. If I can do that, I should get close to having the orders completed. Some of you have ordered a large quantity. If you do not have time to get them cut, it is fine to not make the payment.

  

  

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This is Julie Killjoy reporting from Possum Creek, where authorities say Christmas cheer took a hard hit last night after a raid on what deputies describe as “a highly festive, highly illegal operation.” Around 8:30 p.m., officers stormed the property of Earl Claus, widely known around these parts as Santa’s redneck cousin. According to Sheriff’s deputies, they followed “a suspicious candy-cane smell and blaring country Christmas music” to a shed behind Earl’s trailer. Inside, they discovered a fully operational moonshine still decorated with tinsel, blinking lights, and a hand-painted sign reading: “Reindeer Fuel – Guaranteed to Make You Jingle.” Earl, wearing a flannel Santa coat and camo slippers, claimed he was “just prepping for Christmas Eve deliveries, Southern style.”

The raid turned chaotic when officers breached the shed and Earl’s still ruptured, showering the scene in peppermint-flavored corn liquor and knocking one deputy flat on his back. Three so-called “helper elves” fled the scene, dropping mason jars labeled “North Pole Special” as they ran. The Sheriff’s Department confirms that no reindeer were found, but several dazed raccoons appeared “noticeably festive” and are under observation. Earl has been released pending charges and was sternly advised to stick to eggnog this season—though witnesses tell this reporter he’s already in his yard, sketching plans for what he calls “a fully compliant, mostly sober Christmas distribution system.” This is Julie Killjoy, reminding viewers that in Possum Creek, even holiday crime comes with extra glitter.

Santa's redneck cousin pattern is 10.25" tall

Santa's Redneck Cousin Earl Pattern

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