Monday, April 9, 2018

Dancing with the Sticks Scroll Saw Pattern.

I give you the most popular television show in the Stickman world "Dancing with the Sticks"

Quasi-celebrity stick men and women compete to take home the Shinyball Trophy by dancing their way into the hearts of stick families all over the country. The dancing pros are here to teach the celebrity contestants how to tango, ChaChaCha and run up stairs without falling.  

Tom "The Host" Bergerton

Tom is the host of DWTS. He used to be the host of Stickvilles Funniest Home Videos. He left that show when he could no longer think of anything funny to say about someone's grandma rapping "In Da Club" by 50 Cent. 

Tom's job on DWTS is also pretty tough. He has to convince the audience that the celebrity contestants are actually celebrities. In a recent online poll, the audience was asked if they knew any of the celebrities on the show. Out of the 350 people in the audience, only 3 could identify more than 2 of the celebrities. Unfortunately, the audience was comprised of families and friends of the celebrities. Ouch!

Derek How and Kellie Pickles

This year celebrity Kellie Pickles teams up with pro dancer Derek How. Kellie was a former Stickville Idol contestant. She did not win on that show but she was so cute that everyone fell in love with her. What people don't know is that Kellie has an IQ of 162. Her favorite past time is memorizing Pi to 1,000 places. When Kellie was asked about her superior intellect she replied: "What's an IQ?". 

When Derek was asked how smart Kellie was he said: "She can dance".

Dancing with the Sticks Judges.

Carrie Ann Kanaba, Len Badman, and Bruno Toenaili make up the judging panel.  

Carrie Ann likes muscles. She once gave an 11 to celebrity NFL player Chad Johnson. Len and Bruno were upset by the score because Chad had not danced yet. Carrie got so flustered she fell under the desk. That happens a lot.

Len Badman is the English gentleman judge on the show. He rarely gives a 10. He once gave a 4 to a celebrity when the other two judges gave a 10. Host, Tom Bergerton ask why the low score. Len said, "That was not a proper Tango and I'm afraid Bruno will hug me again!".  

Bruno Toenaili can get a little over the top when explaining his scores. He likes to stand on the judge's desk and wave his arms while explaining every movement of the dance in great R rated detail. No one ever knows what the hell he is talking about but no one is about to ask him to explain it. The show is only an hour long.   

Whitney Karson

Whitney is the beautiful blond pro dancer. She is 5'2" tall and weighs 105lbs. Her legs are so strong that she can deadlift 800 pounds. Don't let her beauty fool you. If she gets you in the scissor lock hold you will be dead in 23 seconds. Did I mention that she is really cute? 

Sharna Bluegrass

All the female dancers on the show are beautiful. Sharna is both beautiful and tough. The last two celebrity contestants she mentored spent ten weeks in traction after the show.  There is just something about redheads that screams "don't mess with me." 
Erin Anderson

Erin is not only a host on DWTS, she is also a sideline reporter for NFL games. When she interviewed for the DWTS job she told them she had been judging dancing for years. Asked what style dance she had the greatest expertise, she said "Endzone". I miss Brooke.

Jim the Cameraman

This job pays $2.83 an hour. Last year 1,863 men applied for the job. Jim got the job. Jim is a happy man.

Just in case you have not figured it out yet, I am a big fan of Dancing with the Stars. I'm not ashamed to admit it. Okay maybe I'm a little ashamed but the secret is out now.

I hope to see you there. I'll be the guest of Bear Woods at  the show.
Stop by and say hello. 

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